The trust has gone. I destroyed it. I had my chance and I destroyed it. Gone. And with that, all the respect I had just earned. It’s over for now. All over. She is on her way, and the memory that will linger could be just this: all men are bastards, don’t believe anything they ever say. And it will be because of me.
I am so sad. This is not how I wanted it to end. So much effort and now nothing to show but someone I love who won’t love me. Not any more.
I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. My sinlessness may be guaranteed, but not in her mind. All I can do now is ask for forgiveness. No excuses, nothing, just a pure, heartfelt request for forgiveness.
I hope she has it in her. I hope she understands that none of us are perfect. I hope she sees that this is but a human frailty, a foible of mine. I can only hope.