Oh my, it’s cold this white Valentine’s morning. Bright and early and very, very cold. And outside I see Kiki prowling; outside where he’s been all the long, cold night. So maybe it’s all in my imagination. Maybe it’s not as cold as it seems; maybe I’m getting soft, even.
I felt myself softening this morning. I felt the hardness of my jaw give way, felt my muscles loosen, and I realized how tense I can be. It was when I gave in to making no decisions by myself that it happened: I went from thinking I had to do something to doing nothing at all, and it worked out so well. What eventually happened was all I could have wanted, whereas the tenseness came from a sense of dread, almost: do I have to do this? So I have more reason to be thankful, more roots of gratitude.
Turns out I don’t have to do anything. Turns out that if I just stop and wait and follow the simple directions, everything works out perfectly. It all runs by itself – this body is but a cog, and the moment I try and make it do something the whole machine gets messed up. If I just let it run, let it turn freely, the machine is that much better for it and I am a whole lot less stressed. Everybody wins!
And this, of course, is not to say everything isn’t already perfect. Only that my experience of it approaches perfection the more I ride with it, the less I interfere.
It is such a gift, learning a lesson like this. It benefits me no end and also those around me and around them and around them: dominoes dropping ever closer to that hundredth monkey.
So today we work. Grandma needs help in the flower shop and there is still more to do at my work. Always more to do. I love that it just moves with me. I love that the venue books itself. I love my job! I am loving my life more and more, too. It is all coming back and giving me more and more reason to smile, to relax, to experience the joy surrounding me.
Gratitude is such a gift.