Keep it simple, silly

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Chaos & the law of love

The snow returns for one last hurrah and all the new life shrivels in its wake. Spring may not be so colourful this year. For now it is predominately white, with scatterings of green and yellow and a splash of red. Puddles of water grow around the house where water drips off the roof in heavy drops, while from the sky a sleety rain falls steadily down. The car’s windows are icy, the snow on the ground watery.

I love the inconsistency of the weather; I love that within its pattern of spring to summer to autumn to winter, that chaos reigns supreme. I love that this can be transposed to most everything. There is chaos in every pattern, and that makes letting go so much easier. To realize that the seeming chaos of my existence is helping make a pattern perfect is a gift.

And Today I learn the law of love; that what I give my brother is my gift to me. (ACIM Lesson 344) To be entirely selfish is the most selfless act, or vice-versa, it doesn’t matter. The more I give my projection, the more it gives me: the law of love. And there I was thinking all that time that love was something you felt, like in the movies, when it is actually something I get simply by giving.

And I don’t know if any of this is true. You can’t believe everything you read, after all. But my experience tells me this is how it works: the more I give, the more I get. And still I don’t know, and hopefully I’m knowing less and less again now; for the more I learn, the less I know.

Not so long ago I believed I believed nothing, I knew I knew nothing, and that was painful. Now I am starting to find again that I don’t know what I know, have no idea what to believe, and hopefully am opening to doing so when I do. We’ll see. The process continues.


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