I need to fix the problem

Last night I discovered a big underlying belief: I need to fix the problem. It doesn’t matter whether it is the computer or someone else’s life or my relationships or my very mind – I take it upon myself to fix it. This is huge. For a start, it assumes a problem exists: it is based on an assumption that I could never prove. And then I go on to make that ‘problem’ my business. It is akin to telling God how to do His job: “Look Mate, I know You’ve got a lot on Your plate, and it appears You’ve overlooked this, er, PROBLEM here,” I need to reinforce this in a suitably passive-aggressive manner. “So just leave it to me and get on with Your job.” Let me tell you this for nothing: taking on God’s business is hard, thankless, frustrating and fruitless work. Definitely not for the fainthearted. Do not try this at home, leave this kind of work to the experts – like me and God. We’ll save the day, and you can thank us later.

Well, here’s some news just in: I’m retiring. Thirty-six relentless years on the job has left me wrinkling, graying and disillusioned. It seems that even after all this training, I still can’t do His job as well as He can. And I ain’t gonna live to be an eternity, so I’m having a break. Prove to me that a problem exists, and then demonstrate how it’s my job to fix it, and I promise I’ll come out of retirement. Until then, I consider the problem solved.