I offer myself to miracles today: I am an offering.
I am an offering, not a sacrifice. I am giving up nothing for everything, and there is no sacrifice in that. My true inheritance is just a thought away; just a moment to spare, to be spared.
I was thinking this morning that I haven’t been seeing as many miracles of late as I had become used to, and that’s not true. To have settled in here in this time under these circumstances is no small miracle. Sure, the children still tell me they hate me, they want me gone – from time-to-time – but the malice has dissipated, the vehemence has gone. Sure, the house gets messy, but it only takes hours, not weeks, to tidy it. Sure, the funk returns now and then, but not for long, not for the seeming months on end that I experienced when I got here. L doesn’t wake us up nightly (as she did for three months) screaming that Mom should come and sleep in her bed. The kids don’t even sleep with their Mom most nights now. E and I even share a room and the kids now sleep in the toy room, where I was relegated all those months. I have been given the opportunity to do The Work regularly with an expert. E is warming to it too, and we’re going to do an intensive together with Katie really soon. We went to the Bahamas for E’s longest-ever time away from the kids. The kids’ Dad is getting friendlier and more helpful by the day. Spring is in the air. The house project is moving forward again after lying dormant through the winter: excavator booked in, drywaller ready to start, cob expert raring to go. My father’s Dr Wheatgrass products are taking off, and there’s a good chance he’ll be coming to visit soon. E connected with a whole new branch of her family. I got a raise. All sorts of people are offering to help me with my work. I’ve written in my blog every day for over two months. People appear to be reading it. The sun is shining. Mum keeps entering fascinating new territory. My brother is halfway to a PHD. Gratitude continues to come my way. I won 32 games straight of FreeCell. Yes, miracles abound and I am so grateful for that. Why would I not want to offer them, offer myself to them?