I am tired. Tired of identifying as this; tired of acting like it matters; tired of living by the meaning I’ve attached to it all. I feel overtired, like I’ve been asleep too long and am struggling to adjust to wakefulness. The night has been long and I’ve stirred occasionally, been blessed by the dawn, thought I was awakening and then found I’d only slipped back into dreamstate.
Dreamstate. This is what I know. This is consciousness. This is the way of it for now. Consciousness is but identification with the dream; it is the place where choices still seem real. It is the place where this seems real. Dreamstate.
So what do I seek? Unconsciousness? In a sense, yes. If unconsciousness is that place beyond thought - where mind simply is - then yes. Consciousness is driven by thought; thought is what keeps me out of reality, in dreamstate.
I am tired of being tired. I want to rub the sleep from my eyes and witness a wakeful vision. But then, maybe I’ll sleep-in a little longer.
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.