Not a day for meditation
Today is clearly not a day for meditation. First, E and I went upstairs and closed the door behind us to ‘meditate’, and were twice interrupted by L. Then, when E left, I sat down to genuinely meditate and first E came up to tell me she had to leave unexpectedly; then L dropped in to say, “Oh, you’re still meditating,” (phew! looks like we got away with it); and finally, just after they walked out the door the phone rang, and due to the circumstances of E leaving so suddenly I answered it. False alarm. I tried sitting again, but by this time had gotten the point: not now.
There is a guy at E’s work who gets really upset if people talk in the hall while he’s trying to meditate, and I remember a woman at Dharmananda who refused to use the meditation hall because some individuals chose to time their meditation, ending with a short, quiet alarm. And for some reason all the interruptions did this morning was tell me, “Not now.”
I guess I’m lucky. I guess meditation for me is largely about finding peace, and getting upset by interruptions would hardly be an indication that I’ve found peace. So maybe I’m on the right track – maybe it even works. Who knows? I know that people have been doing it for thousands of years; I have noticed that regular meditation seems to have a positive impact on me – and yet, when I think about it, I have no idea why I do it. Is it for peace? Greater awareness? Relaxation? Inspiration? Maybe it is all these things.
And then I recall that approaching meditation with a motive doesn’t work. Maybe I am on the right track.