Keep it simple, silly

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Falling away

A vague emptiness drifts through my head. Words do not reach meaning. They form then dissolve before I can make any use of them. Thoughts too are indistinct, just a gentle sea of incomplete concepts. A judgement here, an opinion there, a belief floating by as driftwood, and all falling away before I can make sense of it.

The ring in my ear an undertone for the dog's howls in the distance. Where is the meaning?

Falling away: a full cloud sprinkling. Falling away: a distant voice echoing. Falling away: dust drifting.

There is a world outside this place and it fades in and out: a voice, a clunk, an engine rolling, a hairbrush brushing. It is there but I am not. He is trapped somewhere, and this morning attempts to drag himself out of the maze and identify as me again. He wants to give me a reference. He wants to make this real, to call this body 'me'. But the rubble that is falling away pins him under for a few moments more. Instants of respite. Flitting freedom. Television snow tuning in.


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