(Don't) be my guest
There is a plantar wart living on the underside of my foot. My body is its host. From time to time it causes some discomfort: a wart growing inwards at a place where my whole body weight can be exerted will do that.
What is the role of the host in such a situation? A guest has arrived uninvited and made itself at home. The guest chooses an inconspicuous place to set up, where it is not noticed except when revealed by the host. But the longer the guest stays, the more discomfort the host is apt to feel.
The obvious answer is to kick the guest out, but an interdependence of sorts has developed and this option would likely cause more discomfort to the host, if only temporarily. And it doesn’t help resolve the issue of why the guest arrived in the first place, why it was able to settle in so easily.
I know someone who once had such a guest, and she starved it out. Just stopped feeding herself, and the guest starved to death as a result. This is getting closer, and it would send a message to other potential guests that they’re not welcome here.
But I don’t intend to punish myself for being a host. That seems unkind to me, though it could well be time for another cleanse, to flush out the system once again.
I think a good host is a clear host: “This relationship isn’t working for me any longer. I would like you to leave.”
“But I’m comfortable here.”
“I hear you and I would like you to leave.”
“You’ll have to make me.”
“If that is your choice I shall do so, and I will give you a chance to consider your options before I do.”